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Break Your Own Rules
It was a great awakening the day I realized that I was living by a list of self-imposed rules. Actually I was not ‘living” by these rules. Rather my internal set of rules were driving me, often to a point of excessive doing, productivity and achievement. I was going in the wrong direction. And then I woke up.
I was approaching overwhelm. I took a brief break. A weekend retreat aka seminar that was all about living and being. Not doing and achieving. I then stepped back into my every day life. The dangerous time when you let go of all those promises of how you will change - you go back on auto pilot.
I was determined not to let that happen. I was determined to break my self-imposed rules. Yes. I am now challenging all my must do; have to’s; should do. I am asking myself says who? It really is not that big a surprise when the answer to that question is the voices in my head. No one else.
So if it is only me saying I have to... because of some external approval I am seeking, some societal standard, some parental rule, all I have to do is decide no I don’t have to...
I need not worry about what others think when I am being guided by my core values, accurate thinking and well-chosen priorities. I am no longer the child who must adhere to the parent’s standards when they are no longer consistent with my adult life. My boss is not my parent whose approval I must earn.
My logical, rational brain tells me it is OK. Life will be just fine when I choose to use my time more mindfully. Choose to refer to my values and priorities versus flying on auto pilot. I can be imperfect - and life will go on. It’s OK to risk and fail. It is OK if others do not like me or like what I do. When I say ‘no’ and make no excuses it’s OK.
I am now paying more attention. When I am truly focused and in the moment I make better decisions.
Yes. There is risk. Someone else may not approve. Others may not like how I have changed.There may be turbulence. I need discipline to keep on course and be true to me. Conscious choice; clear intentions; right thinking. I may need to distance myself from certain people. Extend my boundaries.
Life is more interesting outside my comfort zone.
My challenge to you:
Observe your behavior for 3 days and record observations in a diary. At the end of 3 days notice...
- How often your actions were driven by a belief that you should; you have to; you must do; you can’t do ?
- Look for facts to determine if that is really, really true.
- Examine the consequences you anticipate if you choose the alternate path. Are they truthfully as devastating as the story you make up in your head?
This exercise will help you become aware of how often you do or don’t do what your instincts tell you is the right thing because of the stories in your head. Once you are aware, you can start to change. It takes courage to cease being concerned about what others will think of you.
"Live out of your imagination instead of out of your memory." ~Les Brown
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In the middle of my bi-annual adventure ...Driving from St Louis MO to Cape Cod MA with my two cats Pansy and Lily. I will enjoy a two week holiday with my family. 
